ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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