It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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