i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
