do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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