so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize