I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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