How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
