You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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