I can't watch pbs sober anymore
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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