S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
