just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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