Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize