I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
