I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
