She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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