I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
honey bunches of taint.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
