My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
