i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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