You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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