What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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