"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
