And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You are a genius and a whore.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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