You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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