You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
