I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
