I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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