This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
