it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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