Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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