It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she told me i tasted like america
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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