Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
