Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize