sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
