I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
