she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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