Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
