The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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