so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
