And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
