Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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