if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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