I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
