i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
