My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
