i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
