Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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