he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
