do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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