dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
this will be a night to untag.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
