So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
