That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The best revenge is premature balding
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
