ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
