she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
