Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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