butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
