If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
