you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
