Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
