Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
