everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
