singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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