took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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