I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
