"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
